Become a better Lover

The vulnerable business of connecting with people and loving them is something we usually run from. We are so focused on building OUR self-worth, Our looks, Our happiness and we forget that a life revolved around ourselves cannot bring true happiness. What is life if all that drives us is our own self-gratification?
In truth, even though we fail to admit it, we are afraid to be vulnerable especially in this part of the world. It's smart to be careful but there's a difference between being cautious and shutting people out completely.
Connecting with people is the first step to showing them Love and if we claim to Love God, that should be at the top of our to-do list every day.
Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other -John 13:34-35

The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. -John 21:17

So if you want to jump on this love train here are 7 ways you can get out of your funk and Love others!
No man is an Island

I'm constantly in my head thinking about one thing or another so I often have this intense look. When people get to know me I get comments like "I always thought you were a snob","I thought you were mean","I was always scared to come speak to you" etc I am learning to smile more often now. At first, I used to be like "that's how I am and I don't even want to make new friends anyway" but that was just me trying to avoid being vulnerable.

It's amazing how much just a little smile can do. A smile signifies acceptance and approval. Your smile can put a smile on another person's face and really that's one of the best gifts; it is a way of saying I accept you flaws and all. 

Challenge: Start smiling. Start by smiling when you are alone and watch how you'll start to feel happier now imagine what that smile can do to someone else's life! Romans 16:16 

Set Some goals 
Setting daily love goals helps us to improve and be accountable. One simple act of genuine kindness sends has a ripple effect. If you are able to reach out to 3 out of ten people you meet daily, you can indirectly reach out to 3000 people.

Challenge: Write out a daily love to-do/goal  list
If we are to be busy to be friendly, we are out of balance and headed for relational disaster 

Give people (including yourself) permission not to be perfect
God loves us unconditionally and he gives us permission to be imperfect while helping us to be perfect. More often than not, we refuse to connect with people because they don't meet up to our standards. We all need to be encouraged and encouraging people and bearing with their weakness is one way of showing love.
Being friendly might not come naturally to you, but you should learn to live above your feelings and not let that stop you. The fact that you don't feel ready to connect with people does not mean that you're not ready.

Approach Everyone Like you would approach Jesus

It's one thing to approach everyone like Jesus will approach them and it another to approach everyone like you will approach Jesus.
How will you approach Jesus? Answer that and use it as your Action plan for this point. And read 1Pet 4:9

Be prepared to be Comfortable with being uncomfortable

Would you rather send money/clothes/resources to support a cause OR get actively involved?
Your answer to that question shows how far you are willing to go for love.
One of the major problems in the world today is that we are choosy. We choose what works for us when it comes to showing love instead of what works for the other person.
God could have made salvation easier. Jesus did not have to die. But He had to give something he wanted to keep so it can have true meaning.

Love is not authentic till it "moves" you. You cannot be addicted to convenience if you really want to reach out to people.
What does your love revolve around? Does it revolve around your comfort zone or does it revolve around going out of your way to make someone comfortable?

Challenge: Find ways you can be activelyinvolved reaching out to people True Love lies in doing something. [keyword: actively]

Let God set you free from yourself so you will find Joy in focusing on others 
-Isaiah 61:1-


Learn to Listen

Listen, not just with your ears but with your soul. Be observant. I'm no psychic but I can almost tell what someone is going through after observing them for a while. You think you will never know what the next person is going through but have yout tried listening long enough?

Challenge: Consciously "listen" throughout your day, study people, learn their love language and pray to God to use you to put a smile on their face in any way you can

Be intentional/Ask Questions
Don't assume everyone is okay. Ask people how they are doing, how you can be of assistance, how their day is going, how they feel etc Yes you might get ignored occassionally, but you never know who is actually in need of someone to talk to.

Don't take things Personally/Forgive
There's so much freedom that comes from this. You have to get to a point where it;s almost impossible for negative things to get to you and your life will become so much better for it. You'll have so much inner peace  and happiness. Let go and forgive and don't let the negative actions of other people faze you or stress you out. Love them anyway.

Living in Love helps you realize that heaven on earth is a reality


  1. I think in addition to smiling, giving compliments every day teaches you to appreciate different things about other people. You make them feel good [or better] about themselves and you learn how to look for something good in other people.

    Berry Dakara Blog

    1. Indeed, compliments are a beautiful love language. A kind word that makes someone feel appreciated can make their day, putting them in the mood to make another person's day, and the circle of love goes on....

  2. Eye-opening post! Love is an effort and it will always cost you something. Love the new logo. Fab anon x

  3. Very helpful. Forgiving gives inner peace.


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