Day 30: Love covers a multitude of Sins

Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs. -Proverbs 10:12
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.-1 Pet 4:8

Hello Lovelies!

Can you believe it's Day 30 already?!

I hope we've all learned somethings and we're going around Loving others and ourselves intensely God's way? 
This post was sent by an Anonymous contributor and it moved me and that's why I saved it for the last. Read and be blessed 

So I was in SS3 and as far as I was concerned everything with me was perfect and then very quickly everything began to change. My dad had travelled and I was home with my mum and brother.
One day my mum picks us from school and on the way home she starts telling me stories about how one of her friends found out that her husband had been cheating on her with the maids and how this man wasn’t even an illiterate but rather an elite and how the woman didn’t even know what to do. [i.e if she was to leave him or not, tell the kids or not.]. I listened and just thought it unthinkable and thanked God my father wasn’t like that because that would have been really terrible.

Over the next couple of days, I kept on hearing stories like that and got tired of them so I started feigning sleep on the ride home.  All this while, my cousin is around and staying in my room and one day she says ‘forgive your dad’. Three words that changed my life forever.  I didn’t hear her clearly and I asked what she said but then she said nevermind. I obviously heard but it was so out of context that it didn’t make sense to me but after a while, the pieces of the puzzle started coming together and I finally figured it out. My dad was the man in the stories, he was the man that had been cheating with the maids. Very quickly, so many emotions began to fly through; disbelief, anger, hatred. I couldn’t believe that my father would ever be one to do this. This was a man who acted like he couldn’t stand the maids because they were too irritating to him. They couldn’t bring his food, water or even be around him, but he had been sleeping with each and  every single one of them and threatening them to silence. I was angry that my mum didn’t think that I was mature enough to handle it but rather she had taken the back road and still didn’t tell me. But more than anything I hated my dad. Little did I know that this was just the beginning of this nightmare.

I sent my mum a very angry text telling her I knew and asked why she didn’t talk to me. She came home and then we spoke. In hindsight, I regret ever finding out.  We started talking and she told me everything. Then she asked me about an incident that happened while I was younger.

⏪⏪ So let’s back up a bit. I was in Jss1 and my dad’s brother died. I had never seen him cry so much or be that sad. It had been an accident so it was very sudden. My mum travelled to stay with my aunt cos they lived in another state. My dad had been so depressed so my siblings and I stayed up with him. That night, I was molested by my dad. I was so young and naïve so I didn’t understand what had happened, but I knew it was just wrong so I didn’t sleep in his room again. I told my sister what happened and one day about two weeks later, she jokingly repeated it while we were in the car with my mum. She confronted him and he said he was so sorry that he was overly drunk. They called me to their room and explained that to me. I just wanted to forget it because I was embarrassed about it.

Now back to Ss3. She asked me if I could remember what had happened. I told her I remembered him promising me a lot of things if I did well and bunch of crap like that. Then she told me she talked to a pastor who told her that there is no way a man can be so drunk that he can't tell the difference between his wife and his sister much less his wife and his daughter.

After that day, life as I knew it was practically over. I hated my dad with everything within me and I just used to imagine him dying; having an accident, getting poisoned, anything. I just wanted him gone. I contemplated putting rat poison in his meal so many times. It got worse that summer because we all travelled and were living in this two bedroom flat so he was always around. I really could not stand him. I broke up with my boyfriend because I couldn’t tell him what was going on and I was getting so choked up with anger and hatred.

Thankfully, I just gained admission into University so I was going to be in a new environment but most importantly, I was going to be away from home. I made new friends, started a new life and unconsciously, I learnt to use a smile to cover up all of the emotions within me. I smiled and so everyone assumed I was all fine which was good for me. However, I had unconsciously built this wall which meant you could only get so close to me before I push you off either by pissing you off or just slowly cutting you off.

Here is the good news. It was a very slow process. Three whole years but I learnt to forgive. I remember having a chat with the chaplain in my school at a point when I couldn’t take it anymore and he told me ‘love him, not for him, but for yourself’.

There is a lot of hatred in this world. A lot of angry people holding in feelings of betrayal, anger, hatred and covering it up with a smile, drugs or sexual immorality. But I know this from experience. I know that if we open up and actually let the Holy Spirit take charge, He can fill our lives, our hearts with forgiveness, with joy, with the hope. This is something I learnt the hard way because up till today, my dad still doesn’t know that I know all of these things. So he still goes around, acting all high and mighty, living his life normally while I was having sleepless nights, harming myself. Do we ever think of the fact that if the person who hurt us asks for mercy from God and gets saved, while we are still stuck with all of these emotions in us and we both die, they go to Heaven and we are damned in Hell.

I'm typing this and the scripture that says ‘He that says he loves God but loves not his brother and sister lies, because it is impossible to truly love God whom we cannot see when we don’t even love those amongst us’ comes to mind and quite frankly it says a lot. I believe that your relationship with fellow men is a better indication of how good of a Christian you are than your church duties or how much you pray or read the bible.

So in the spirit of the season x this Love series, I implore you all to love, to forgive and to let go, its not always easy, I know this because it took me three years and from time to time I still get bitter, but it definitely gets better and remember, when it gets hard, remember Love them not for them, but for yourself"

 This is day 30 of #31daysofLovinlikeJesus you can click here to see a list of posts in these series.

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  1. Thanks for sharing your story, it really touched me because I have experienced some things as a child that now has me a tad bit resentful in small ways. I try to push it out of my mind because I forgive the person..but it's hard to forget & i never will. Which is why I understand your feelings of bitterness at times.
    I love your blog, happy I ran by it. Hopefully you can stop by mine.

  2. Love them not for them but for yourself.
    Take it a bit them for God who can love us still no matter what we do..
    Definitely hard to do..soooo hard... but God's grace is enough.

    anonymous, your story is touching. I'm glad you let God's love overwhelm and shine through you.


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