Day 29: "...As much as you Love yourself"

Mark  12:31
‘Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF There is no commandment greater than these.”

I think that as with any type of love, self-love changes you. I can be defensive, selfish, sensitive, prideful, obnoxious – the list could go on, but in the same breath and beneath the softness of a more generous light, I see the parts of me I love: the confident, outspoken, brave, hilarious, thoughtful, kind, empathetic, passionate nature of myself. The good always outweighs the bad. On a good day, those parts of me aid me with my glow. The love of self is evident to not only me, but all those I encounter. On a bad day, the parts of me that are harder to love bear semblance to a great burden. But even on those days, although harder than the good ones, saying “I love you” to the ugly is even more of a necessity than the moments that require me to acknowledge the beautiful.
I remember being a little girl and having my first memory of romantic love shattered when it came to my parents’ divorce. I think subconsciously as a result, I’ve looked externally for love first, kissing a lot of frogs masquerading themselves as princes, placing my own happiness and feelings of self-worth in the hands of someone who’d undoubtedly drop it. And it’d break, like the fragile glass that it was. I didn’t realize then like I do now, that the pursuit of happiness begins within me. Happiness isn’t something people outside of me are responsible for, neither is love.
I had no idea how much power I’d obtain with that one decision, to love is a superpower and to love yourself first is committing to yourself that you will be your own hero, that you are your own world, and that you will save yourself. I walk more confidently now and despite my loyalist nature, I’ve learned to use that walk to leave people and situations that stunt my growth or challenge my journey of self-love.  It is a love that you must commit to and choose every day again and again. It is a difficult love, but it is a love that is entirely worth it. 
And as with any passage where I find myself speaking on my self-love journey, I must end it justly by saying: I love myself. 


Day 30: ...As much as you Love yourself.

If you can't Love you, how can you Love others?  The amount of Love you show others, is a function of the Love you show to yourself. 

This series won't be complete if we don't talk about self Love and this piece by Sheridan' just sums it all up. Since March 1st, we've been on about loving others but how can you Love others if you don't Love yourself first?
When I say that you need to love yourself, I'm not referring to the stuck-up, prideful, worldly type of Self-love, I'm talking about a concept of being thankful, and appreciating the person who God has made you, it means Loving God in you first, it means placing your self-worth in God's hands. And for days when you wake up feeling not good enough, you remember that there's no condemnation for those that are in Christ [Romans 8:1]

And to do this, it is very important to ...

  • Be thankful for yourself and have the mindset that God did not create an ugly body, a dumb brain, or a worthless person. Wake up each day thankful because you are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14
Psalms 103:12, "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us."
  • Love the Ugly even more than the beautiful: Forgive yourself. Since day one, we've stressed so much on forgiving others, adapting to others, letting go of what others have done to you etc. But it's equally important that you forgive yourself and learn to live with yourself. We all have moments of weakness and  Unforgiveness is bondage, bondage that comes with bitterness and depression. If you're bitter or depressed, you can't love yourself. Give yourself a clean slate, no matter how many times you fall dust yourself and start again because that's the same thing God would for you. He takes our Ugly and turns it into something that is beautiful.

  • You have to realize that you're loved by God, not because of anything you are, or anything you've done whether you like it or not, He loves you and all you need to do is accept it not try to earn it. Romans 8: 39

  • You have to depend on God as your sole source of happiness and Love! : don't Live your life for anyone's approval, because if/or when they hurt you it would hurt you, Live only for Gods approval. 

This is day 29 of #31daysofLovinlikeJesus you can click here to see a list of posts in these series.

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  1. The pursuit of happiness begins with yourself; wise words. I loved this post and related to the msg


  2. I just read an article on depression with a focus on the love of God and then I come here. This is something I have always thought about. This quote is just everything to me "If you can't Love you, how can you Love others? The amount of Love you show others, is a function of the Love you show to yourself" .

    Princess Audu

  3. Thanks so much for having me Olakunmi! And I agree with the points that you expounded upon. This was a beautiful series. Thank you for this project :)

  4. I enjoyed the depth of this post.

    Self-acceptance starts with self-love, putting ones validation of ones own self above the validation by others.

    Well-written Kunmi.


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